So, I Need a Heart Transplant: Curt Benham: VCV

"Eventually one comes to realize that what the English reformer Thomas Cranmer taught about the human condition is true - "What the heart desires, the will chooses, and the mind justifies." That's just the way we sinners operate. In other words, the choices I make, and the mental gymnastics I employ to justify those choices, are driven by what my heart desires. And I literally cannot control what my heart desires - the heart wants what it wants. My brain "ain't running the show." The desires of my heart run the show, and I cannot bring into order what my unruly heart desires. And to make matters worse, left to my own devices, what my heart desires is to gratify myself constantly, with zero regard for God or my neighbor. The prophet Jeremiah was right about my heart, The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? So, what I need then is not tips on how to have a stronger will so that I can make better choices. What I need is for the desires of my heart to change. I need to begin to desire the good of my neighbor and to love the commands and promises of God, rather than gratifying the selfish desires of my flesh. The problem, once again, is that I cannot and will not change the desires of my heart. I'm not capable of doing it, and even if I were capable of doing it, I wouldn't do it, because I'm utterly curved-in on myself.
When I say I'm a "sinner," this is what I'm talking about.

So, I need a heart transplant. But God... being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ...

God is the one who changes the desires of my heart. Not me. God.
And he does it because he loves me." ~Morning Reflection: Curt: VCV

Present

"The usual response to atrocity is to try to remove it from the mind. Those who have been traumatized want to flee the memory of its occurrence, and we who hear find that we want to flee also." ~Diane Langberg, Ph. D. Diane is a Christian Psychologist with over 40 years of experience working with victims/survivors of trauma, macro and micro. I like to hear her perspectives on abuse, because she always advocates for the survivor. She always looks for Biblical justice and she always tries to bring the Lord's perspective into view. It is important to talk about what happened with someone who can express care, belief and empathy. It is freeing and relieving to speak to a trusted friend, counselor, pastor or priest about our pain. I know that when I was in crisis, struggling with a deep spiritual

depression a decade ago, my friend was my lifeline. She listened, supported, stood with me, sat with me, cried with me, believed me, invited me, assured me of her own love and of Jesus' steadfast, unfailing mercy and grace. I am eternally grateful for her. As amazing as she was, she was a vessel of God's grace to me. It was He, Who truly supported me in the midst of my own self-made trauma. What an amazing Advocate and Friend we have in Christ.

*He never leaves or forsakes us. (Heb. 13:5) *Nothing can separate us from His love: not even we, ourselves (Romans 8:39) *He is faithful and true. (Revelation 3:14) *His mercy endures forever. (Psalm 107:1) *He cares for you. (I Peter 5:7) In this time of trial, we are globally facing hardship, uncertainty, pain, and even trauma, but we have a Savior who is with us in the midst of it and cares deeply. Cling to Him. He is clinging to you. Even in the isolation of social distancing, He is near. For Morning Reflection: VCV

Safe Church: True Church

This question has come up in a couple of different social media groups, and I thought it could be helpful to answer it here on the blog. There are frightened, abused sheep in need of a safe fold out there. I hope they will be drawn in by safe undershepherds. 

The question was, "How can I know if a church is safe, and what questions should I be asking the leadership?"

The first way I addressed the question was to identify, not what a "safe" church is, but what is a "true" because a true one should be a safe one.


The true church is identified by three main marks:
1. Faithful Gospel proclamation (distinguished from the Law). This is what separates the church from every other world religion.
2. Proper administration of the sacraments: baptism and communion.
3. Sound church discipline: formative and corrective. Discipline forms the mind and heart of believers as we are reminded of Christ's work for us, through Word and Sacrament. It also separates those who refuse to repent of ongoing, habitual sin. This removes corrupt influence from the local body. (See the Belgic Confession: Article 29 on the marks of the true church. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10220042886166120&set=a.10215204486289147&type=3&theater)

Beyond this, here are some questions I would recommend asking and have asked moving toward church membership:
~ What disciplinary issues have been addressed at this church?
~ What did that process look like?
~ What was the outcome of the discipline?
~ How were other members encouraged to interact with the person under discipline?
~ How are women viewed and utilized in church leadership?

Above all, wait, listen, and watch. A good pastor/ good leadership will encourage membership in the local body, but should not pressure you.
*Wait: Don't be in a hurry. Church life is a commitment.
*Listen! Do you hear the message of Christ **for you in every message?
* Watch: Are the practices/work of the church consistent with what is being taught from the pulpit? You will only know this by watching over a prolonged period of time.

Church should be the safest place on earth, but we're seeing that sometimes it is just so far from being the case. Take your time. And in the meantime, receive and rest in Jesus.

Laser-Focus on Abuse

Why my laser-focus on abuse?
I am a nationally certified and licensed therapist in my state, with a Bachelor’s Degree in Bible and Counseling, as well as a Master’s Degree in Counseling. I have extensive experience working in the field of mental health, including psychiatric hospitalization units, social service organizations, in-home crisis intervention programs, mental health clinics, private practice, and voluntary care walking alongside friends dealing with domestic and spiritual abuse situations. I have been certified nationally since 2002 and licensed in my state since 2006. During my academic and professional careers, I have been instructed in and adhered to the highest ethical principles and have operated in accordance with the laws and codes that govern my profession. I have been trained to and experienced navigating mental health and domestic crises and have been helping individuals and families in these situations for nearly two decades.

In addition to my professional education and experience, I have a personal history of witnessing domestic violence and experiencing spiritually abusive crises. I first witnessed domestic violence at age six when I was spending the afternoon with a friend, whose father, in front of three of us children, took his wife by the throat and squeezed the breath out of her until she lay unconscious on the floor. Since that time, I have experienced and witnessed, in my own life and in the lives of people I love, various kinds of abuse. So needless to say, the Lord has placed me in various and numerous situations that have led me here, personally and professionally.

Social media, over the last several years, has been enlightening as to the pervasiveness of this issue in the evangelical community. There have been months when I received daily messages from women who have endured unspeakable pain at the hands of those who should love and care for them most; their husbands and their churches. A few men have come to me in similar situations, being alienated by their wives and churches. This should not be, but as long as it *is, light should be shed on what is happening; correction should be made, forgiveness should be sought, restoration made, fruits of repentance evidenced. Where Christ is ruling His people this can happen. The Gospel is the power of God unto salvation, not once at an altar call in our youth, but over a lifetime. It is my prayer, and my hope in exposing abuses, especially in the church, that victims will find healing, and abusers will despair of their actions and flee to Christ. It is my prayer that the victims/survivors of abuse will find support and comfort in the true Church and a refuge in Jesus. It is my hope that Christians and others who have experienced abuses will connect with others with similar experiences, to learn they are not alone, and they are not crazy.

Adam's Temptation and Christ's Obedience

Where Adam was tempted and failed, plunging his race into sin, misery, and death, Jesus was tempted but perfectly and perpetually obeyed in our place, earning righteousness, everlasting life, and joy for His people. Glory to you, Lord Christ!

Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was the most cunning of all the wild animals that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You can’t eat from any tree in the garden’?” 2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit from the trees in the garden. 3 But about the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden, God said, ‘You must not eat it or touch it, or you will die.’” 4 “No! You will not die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “In fact, God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 The woman saw that the tree was good for food and delightful to look at and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom. So she took some of its fruit and ate it; she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. 

Matthew 4:1 Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 After he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 Then the tempter approached him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” 4 He answered, “It is written: Man must not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” 5 Then the devil took him to the holy city, had him stand on the pinnacle of the temple, 6 and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written:
He will give his angels orders concerning you,
and they will support you with their hands
so that you will not strike
your foot against a stone.”
7 Jesus told him, “It is also written: Do not test the Lord your God.” 8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9 And he said to him, “I will give you all these things if you will fall down and worship me.” 10 Then Jesus told him, “Go away, Satan! For it is written: Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.” 11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and began to serve him.

Romans 5:19 For just as through one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so also through the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.