Church Discipline vs. Spiritual Abuse: Church Chats with Gospel Gal

When you think about church discipline if you’ve been a Christian for any period of time,

most likely the first passage that will come to mind Matthew 18. Verses 15-20 give us the pattern and order to follow when a brother or sister offends us.
“If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he won’t listen, take one or two others with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. If he doesn’t pay attention to them, tell the church. If he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like a Gentile and a tax collector to you. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will have been loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you on earth agree about any matter that you pray for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there among them."

You will note that the purpose such discipline is always restorative. When church discipline

is done effectively, wisely, Biblically, and lovingly relationships with the Lord and the body can potentially be restored. This process is absolutely necessary where there is habitual, unrepented sin.

The Belgic Confession teaches us that discipline is so essential, that an institution cannot even be considered a true church apart from this mark. Article 29 states “The true church can be recognized if it has the following marks: The church engages in the pure preaching of the gospel; it makes use of the pure administration of the sacraments as Christ instituted them; it practices church discipline for correcting faults.”

Where a church does not biblically discipline it fails to be the church and not every case of church discipline is abusive, just as not every case of parental discipline is abusive. Church discipline, formative and corrective, is necessary and right, according to Scripture. It is for the purity of the body and the restoration of the habitually unrepentant individual. 

But sometimes church leadership can and does use what they call church discipline to abuse. Spiritual abuse has become so prevalent and public, that I am taking this opportunity to discuss with some of my family and friends this important topic. We want to be clear that discipline in the church is healthy, and at the same time acknowledge that there is abuse in the evangelical church where it misuses its authority, and where it mishandles Scripture to manipulate and do harm to Christ’s sheep.

So, let’s define Spiritual abuse. First, any abuse is “A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation, and isolation, the abuser keeps his target subordinated and under his control. This pattern can be emotional, verbal, psychological, spiritual, sexual, financial, social, and physical,” according to Pastor Jeff Crippen author of A Cry For Justice . And Diane Langberg, a 40+ year clinical psychologist, working with trauma survivors, and a 40+ year PCA member who sits on the advisory board of the PCA General assembly defines Spiritual abuse as “the use of faith, belief, and practice to coerce, control, or damage another. Using faith, spiritual practices, belief, doctrine, …for the purpose of coercing, controlling, and using for the offender's own good." (Spiritual Abuse and Toxic Systems: http://www.dianelangberg.com/2018/03/spiritual-abuse-and-toxic-systems/ )
Tonight we’ll discuss church discipline as distinguished from spiritual abuse and hear some testimonies of a family member and some of my friends who have experienced church discipline and some who have experienced spiritual abuse. See if you can discern the difference.

Here's the conversation on
Episode #1 of Church Chats with Gospel Gal:
"Church Discipline vs. Spiritual Abuse" 

https://gospelgal2020.podbean.com/e/church-chats-with-gospel-gal-episode-1-church-discipline-vs-spiritual-abuse/

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Additional Resource: Paramount Church sermon: John Fonville describes biblical church discipline (formative and corrective) and distinguishes between discipline and spiritual abuse.Listen here: http://www.paramountchurch.com/mediaPlayer/#sermonaudio/260