Gospel-Centered Friendship

"Some think it strength of grace
to endure nothing in the weaker,
whereas the strongest are readiest
to bear with the infirmities of the weak."
~Richard Sibbes, Puritan

Last night, on a Church Chat, we were discussing the value of Gospel-centered friends and friendships. My friends defined a Gospel-centered friend as one who consistently points to Christ, regardless of the situation or circumstance. I think they have it right and my experience bears witness to the value of Gospel-centered friends.


When I was in the miry clay of weakness, struggle, and sin, well-meaning friends would sometimes offer words that could not and would not provide any comfort or strength. On the contrary, they sucked the life out of me and caused me more angst and despair.

I found that there are two words that I, as a struggling Christian, found most *un-helpful:
1. Law apart from Gospel.
If I was able to hop to it, repent, and obey God by the strength of my will and determination. I would have! I wouldn't have been in this dark place. The Law could direct me. The Law could correct me. And the Law could accuse me, but it could also provoke me, according to St. Paul (Romans 7:5). And it had no power to create any needed change in my heart or mind, a power only found in the Gospel (Romans 1:16).

2. Undue or incongruent praise.
If I was a fine, virtuous, happy, shiny person, I wouldn't have been in this miry pit. When my well-meaning friends gave me praise, I was thinking... "If you only knew..." I was a mess, a spiritual shipwreck. They were trying to encourage me, but the effort fell flat and I stayed stuck.

A Gospel-centered friend knew how to use the Law, lawfully, and when to refrain. Gospel-centered friends pointed me to the sufficiency of Jesus, not to myself. My self was the problem. The solution was more of Jesus. So, they were able to bear with me (Romans 15:1) and point me to the source of strength.

They understood that it is the weak who need His strength. It is the dirty who need cleansing, the struggling who need support, the broken, despondent and exhausted who need His rest. So they pointed to Him... The one who said,

“It is not those who are healthy who need a doctor, but those who are sick." (Luke 5:31)
"... whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will never get thirsty again. In fact, the water I will give him will become a well of water springing up in him for eternal life.” (John 4:14)
"Therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven; that’s why she loved much. But the one who is forgiven little, loves little.”  Then he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” (Luke 7:47-48)

The Lord is the ultimate faithful Friend. He does not leave us alone. He provides His people with His presence, often by the presence of a friend.  At just the right season, He provides those Gospel-centered friends, with the life-giving word that Jesus is with you and for you. They, were as Sibbes put it, "readiest to bear with the infirmities of the weak" and I am so grateful for them.

~Gospel Gal: Marissa Namirr