I am blogging and podcasting on this topic because I understand both the angst of wanting a church and simultaneously fearing a dysfunctional one. My hope is that my discoveries will encourage and support Christians in my circle who are struggling with the same fears. To be apart from Christ's body and without the protection of God's ministers is a precarious place for a sheep. Wandering sheep are prone to every type of wolf, but Christ the Good Shepherd established folds and undershepherds to tend His lambs.
Episode #6 : "Church Homelessness" is posted here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiYi-4OmPNs
Disclosure: Some of this may be hard to hear, especially if you're, like I was, trying to locate a sound church and are failing to find one that meets your family's needs or expectations. But please bear with me and read on. I have learned and discovered some things about the church over the last decade, and I hope you will find them helpful and healing.
"Church Homelessness": I coined the term and define Church Homelessness as the state of being without a church home. It could be by choice, by simply being without choices, or due to apostasy.
By Choice:
This kind of church homelessness occurs when you've left the church for valid reasons and are currently without one. Maybe you've been spiritually abused or awakened to the Gospel and realize that where you've been is longer a place you can attend in good conscience. After much thought, prayer, and concerted efforts to rectify the problems, you've left a church and now have no church to call home.
Being Without Choices:
Maybe you've relocated and haven't been able to locate a sound church yet, or perhaps you're not satisfied with any of the available options. Keep looking. There is one for you somewhere. I pray you will not lose heart in this journey.
Apostasy:
You are not a believer and have left the church because you have found it inconsistent with your worldview. This is the most precarious of all three kinds of church homelessness because it means that you've actually turned your back on what you've been taught and know. If you have ever known and believed the Gospel, run home. God is that Father who is waiting to run out to greet you with open arms and a celebration is in store.
In the process of seeking a church, I noticed that the church is *not...
a therapy group,
a children's club,
a support group,
a political platform, or
a marriage and family-fixer.
I discovered what a sound church is...
To gain an understanding of Biblical ecclesiology (the study of the church/doctrine of the church) I turned to Scripture, then to the ecumenical creeds and Reformed confessions and to historic and contemporary Reformed theologians.
It is of great importance to understand that the Church is not a human invention. The Reformed community would argue that it was established in the Garden of Eden and extends into eternity. But for the intent of the blog and podcast, I'll address New Testament teaching.
Jesus established the New Testament church:
Matt 28: 18 Then Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go, therefore, and *make disciples of all nations, *baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 *teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
I learned the teachings and practices of the church.
The church preaches the Gospel:
I Corinthians 2:2 For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.
I Corinthians 15:1 Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:5 And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve:6 After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once
The church administers the sacraments:
The Lord's Supper: Matthew 26:26 As they were eating, Jesus took bread, blessed and broke it, gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take and eat it; this is My body.” 27 Then He took a cup, and after giving thanks, He gave it to them and said, “Drink from it, all of you. 28 For this is My blood that establishes the covenant; it is shed for many for the forgiveness of sins.
Baptism: Acts 2:37 When they heard this, they came under deep conviction and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles: “Brothers, what must we do?” 38 “Repent,” Peter said to them, “and be baptized, each of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 For the promise is for you and for your children, and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call.”
The church corrects faults (discipline):
Matt 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he won’t listen, take one or two more with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. 17 If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you. 18 I assure you: Whatever you bind on earth is already bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth is already loosed in heaven. 19 Again, I assure you: If two of you on earth agree about any matter that you pray for, it will be done for you by My Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there among them.”
The church elects qualified officers:
Eph 4:10 The One who descended is also the One who ascended far above all the heavens, that He might fill all things. 11 And He personally gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, 12 for the training of the saints in the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ
Titus 1:5 I directed you, to appoint elders in every town: 6 one who is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of wildness or rebellion. 7 For an overseer, as God’s administrator, must be blameless, not arrogant, not hot-tempered, not addicted to wine, not a bully, not greedy for money, 8 but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, righteous, holy, self-controlled, 9 holding to the faithful message as taught, so that he will be able both to encourage with sound teaching and to refute those who contradict it.
The church practiced a pattern:
Acts 2:41 So those who accepted his message were baptized, and that day about 3,000 people were added to them. 42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to the prayers.
Hebrews 10:24 And let us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works, 25 not staying away from our worship meetings, as some habitually do, but encouraging each other
According to the Ecumenical Creeds and Confessions:
The Church is expansive, apostolic, and unifying.
Nicene Creed: "...We believe in one holy *catholic and *apostolic church..."
Apostles Creed: "...I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy *catholic* church, the *communion of saints..."
*catholic: The church at all times and in all places throughout history.
*apostolic: Teaching in accordance with the doctrine of the Apostles, namely the Law and the Gospel.
Belgic Confession: Articles 28-29 –
Article 28:
"We believe, since this holy assembly and congregation is the assembly of the redeemed and there is no salvation outside of it, that no one ought to withdraw from it, content to be by himself, no matter what his status or standing may be. But all and everyone are obliged to join it and unite with it, maintaining the unity of the church. They must submit themselves to its instruction and discipline, bend their necks under the yoke of Jesus Christ, and serve the edification of the brothers and sisters, according to the talents which God has given them as members of the same body. To observe this more effectively, it is the duty of all believers, according to the Word of God, to separate from those who do not belong to the church and to join this assembly wherever God has established it. They should do so even though the rulers and edicts of princes were against it, and death or physical punishment might follow. All therefore who draw away from the church or fail to join it act contrary to the ordinance of God.
Article 29:
"We believe that we ought to discern diligently and very carefully, by the Word of God, what is the true church—for all sects in the world today claim for themselves the name of "the church."
...The true church can be recognized if it has the following marks:
*engages in the pure preaching of the gospel;
*it makes use of the pure administration of the sacraments as Christ instituted them;
*it practices church discipline for correcting faults."
As the pure preaching of the Gospel is the first mark of the true church, I want to briefly define it. It is not to be confused with God's Law, which commands, condemns and penalizes.
The Gospel is a joyful proclamation.
It's the good news that is heralded by one who is sent to declare that a great war is ended (Isaiah 40). The news was that Jesus Christ,
the Eternal Word,
the Second Person of the Trinity,
The Promised One,
The Son of Eve, Abraham, David, and Mary
the Only Begotten of the Father,
Whose mission it was to
"save His people from their sins,"
lived in personal, perpetual perfect obedience to the Father in our place,
died the death that we deserved for our disobedience,
was buried in a tomb to show He was really dead,
and rose again to verify the satisfaction of the Father with His sacrifice,
He ever lives to make intercession for us,
and He is coming again in glory to complete our promised salvation and redemption,
vindicating us before all of His and our enemies.
But back to the topic at hand, here is some food for thought, from some valuable and more contemporary theologians regarding Christ's Church:
"...the Kingdom of God involves God’s people, in God’s place, under God’s rule.” ~Graeme Goldsworthy: Gospel and Kingdom.
"The Church is the people of God assembled together under the authority of the Word of God for worship, instruction, and mutual edification. By his Word through the Apostles, God has ordained that we unite together to accomplish these purposes. The organized Church is not a mistake, but instead, the Biblical and Apostolic institution for the advancement of the Kingdom of God." ~R. Scott Clark: Heidelblog: "The Church: The Christ-Confessing Covenant Community"
"It is the Church visible and invisible. This is to say that upon the earth there are two distinctions. She is invisible because she is spiritual in nature. That is, she cannot be seen with the naked eye; neither can anyone but God really perceive who is a true member of it. She is also visible In the sense of the believers’ profession and activities in the world. Mankind can see the Church visible because it witnesses the life and lip of its members as Christ’s Church pursues its natural course of action in the faithful ministry of the Word and sacraments, and in her outworking of her organization and church government. How do we define the Church? With this information in hand, we now define the church as “the company of the elect who are called by the Spirit of God, the communion of believers” (the invisible Church), which is the “community of those who profess the true religion together with their children” (the visible Church)." ~Louis Berkhof: Manual of Christian Doctrine.
Now that I've established the definition, functions, and validity of the Church, I'll move on to some very real questions and concerns for the Church Homeless. These are concerns I've had, personally, and the concerns of Christians in my circle.
Concerns & Questions of the Church Homeless:Is church Necessary?
Hopefully, the affirmative has been established above, however, I don't want to undermine any valid concerns, and there are many. Remember my empathy and concern communicated earlier. While empathizing with your pain, anxiety, and uncertainty, I also know that wandering sheep are prone to every type of wolf, but Christ the Good Shepherd established folds and undershepherds to tend His lambs.
*What if I've been abused?
The grief and anxiety caused by a bad church is a valid concern, and if you find yourself without a church for this reason, allow yourself to process and grieve what you've been through. You have a tender, compassionate Shepherd Who sees and knows what you've endured. He can direct you to safety, but it is understood that all forms of abuse include a pervasive pattern of manipulation and control, which can produce enduring traumatic effects. For further clarification of spiritual abuse listen to this episode of Theology Gals I cohosted with Coleen Sharp and Jeff Crippen: "Abuse and the Church": http://theologygals.com/2017/06/abuse-and-the-church-theology-gals-episode-20/
Abuse is a valid concern and is alarmingly prevalent in the visible church. Please remember that a church that abuses fails to be a true church. A pastor and leadership of the church are fallible and imperfect, but abuse goes beyond any ordinary shortcoming. It is a failure of the Biblical requirements for church officers. Refer back to Titus 1:5-9: blameless, not arrogant, not hot-tempered ...not a bully, ...hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, righteous, holy, self-controlled..." None of these qualities are consistent with abuse. Those who do not operate and live accordingly should come under the discipline of the church, themselves, having disqualified themselves regardless of their current ordination status. If the church fails to press charges against an abuser, flee from such. Mark and avoid. And take your time when considering a new congregation. I will discuss moving forward later in the blog.
*What if you're married to someone who differs on doctrine?
Must you attend the same church? Opinions on this will vary. My personal belief is that when you differ from a church on doctrine, that church is not a good fit for you. Confessing churches ask you to take membership vows to affirm and uphold the essentials of the faith. If you're unable to agree with the church's Confession, you are in a position where you must remain silent on those issues, or seek a body that is in agreement with your beliefs. If husbands and wives differ on the Confession, they can work through those issues, seek unity, and hopefully come to a resolution that is peaceable. But where church membership is concerned, your conscience is not to be bound by your spouse. Go where you are being nurtured and fed on Christ. If you're moving on, let the new church you're considering for membership know your situation. Seek their guidance.
*But the church is full of hypocrites.
Again, a fair point, but who else did Jesus come to save, but sinners? We all fail. And the local church the very place that building up and correction are to take place. Remember Matthew 18. Seek unity. Confront in love. Work toward reconciliation and restoration when possible. Don't forget that you, also, are a sinner in need of God's grace in Christ. Go where you can receive and rest. Feed on Christ, and you will soon find yourself loving those hypocrites.
*How can I trust a church again?
I honestly don't know the answer to that, but what I do know is that Christ is faithful and trustable. He has established His church and provided it to His lambs for their nurture and protection. So, go, not with blinders on, but looking for glaring, red flags waving in your direction. Know that it is reasonable to heed them, to push back, to question, and to leave a church that is unsafe for you and your family. Here are a few ideas that may help along the way:
What to do/ask when searching:
Do:
1. Watch, observe, and ask questions.
2. Take your time. Don't rush to join. Joining a church is a commitment. Be sure you can take this important step with joy and confidence, and without compulsion.
3. Ask probing questions. If they're dismissed or greeted with disdain or concern, be concerned yourself.
4. Relocate: If you've exhausted all your options and cannot join any church within a reasonable distance from your home, relocate. Churchlessness is not an option for Christ's sheep for all the reasons noted above. You need protection, nurture, and support that is only afforded by the local church as they feed you on Christ through Word and Sacrament.
Questions to ask:
Here are some questions I have formulated to determine if a church is a good fit:
1. What is the church's Confession. If they don't have one, that is a red flag. You won't know what the church actually believes and is committed to practicing without a written Confession like the Thirty-nine Articles, The Belgic Confession, Westminster Confession, or The London Baptist Confession.
2. What is the position of the leadership on the role of women in the church?
3. What are some cases of church discipline that have been addressed by the church and what was the outcome?
4. What are the favorite historic and contemporary theologians of the pastor? This can serve as a relief or a warning. Investigate what wells they're drinking from.
5. Does the church have any written policy concerning child/sexual abuse and domestic violence?
6. And of foremost importance, ask the pastor to define Law and Gospel. If he confuses Law and Gospel, move on and keep looking.
During any season of Church Homelessness, please do not give in to Church Hopelessness. The Lord has established His church and "the gates of Hell will not prevail against it." Keep your eye fixed on the Good Shepherd, Who created the Church, lives among His church, and will return for Her. Until then He may He continue to gently lead us beside the still waters and restore our souls in His house, where we dwell forever.
Be sure to listen to the Gospel Gal episode on Youtube on this topic.
Additional Resources:
"Why Do We Go to Church?" Dr. John Fonville, Rector of Paramount Church: https://www.paramountchurch.com/sermons/sermon/2020-02-09/why-do-we-go-to-church.
"The Gospel For Those Broken By The Church": Rod Rosenbladt: https://gospelgalblog.blogspot.com/2018/05/the-gospel-for-those-broken-by-church.html
"Church Discipline vs. Spiritual Abuse": Church Chats: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3BPu7E3za0&t=48s
"Abuse and the Church": Theology Gals: http://theologygals.com/2017/06/abuse-and-the-church-theology-gals-episode-20/
"Spiritual Abuse": Gospel Gal: https://gospelgalblog.blogspot.com/2018/09/spiritual-abuse.html
"Safe Chruch: True Church": Gospel Gal: https://gospelgalblog.blogspot.com/2020/03/safe-church-true-church.html
"Hebrews 10:25 Not Forsaking the Assembling": Gospel Galhttps://gospelgalblog.blogspot.com/2017/07/last-night-as-i-was-anticipating-lords.html
Baptism: Gospel Gal: https://gospelgalblog.blogspot.com/2018/06/a-curriculum-for-covenant.html
"The Church: The Christ-Confessing Covenant Community": R. Scott Clark: https://heidelblog.net/2018/06/the-church-the-christ-confessing-covenant-community/
Marissa, "Gospel Gal" is a blogger and host of the new podcast, Church Chats with Gospel Gal (find on Youtube). She is wife of Mark, mother of three adult girls, counselor, educator, and mama bear to many. She lives in NW Georgia and attends an ACNA church in the area.
the Eternal Word,
the Second Person of the Trinity,
The Promised One,
The Son of Eve, Abraham, David, and Mary
the Only Begotten of the Father,
Whose mission it was to
"save His people from their sins,"
lived in personal, perpetual perfect obedience to the Father in our place,
died the death that we deserved for our disobedience,
was buried in a tomb to show He was really dead,
and rose again to verify the satisfaction of the Father with His sacrifice,
He ever lives to make intercession for us,
and He is coming again in glory to complete our promised salvation and redemption,
vindicating us before all of His and our enemies.
But back to the topic at hand, here is some food for thought, from some valuable and more contemporary theologians regarding Christ's Church:
"...the Kingdom of God involves God’s people, in God’s place, under God’s rule.” ~Graeme Goldsworthy: Gospel and Kingdom.
"The Church is the people of God assembled together under the authority of the Word of God for worship, instruction, and mutual edification. By his Word through the Apostles, God has ordained that we unite together to accomplish these purposes. The organized Church is not a mistake, but instead, the Biblical and Apostolic institution for the advancement of the Kingdom of God." ~R. Scott Clark: Heidelblog: "The Church: The Christ-Confessing Covenant Community"
"It is the Church visible and invisible. This is to say that upon the earth there are two distinctions. She is invisible because she is spiritual in nature. That is, she cannot be seen with the naked eye; neither can anyone but God really perceive who is a true member of it. She is also visible In the sense of the believers’ profession and activities in the world. Mankind can see the Church visible because it witnesses the life and lip of its members as Christ’s Church pursues its natural course of action in the faithful ministry of the Word and sacraments, and in her outworking of her organization and church government. How do we define the Church? With this information in hand, we now define the church as “the company of the elect who are called by the Spirit of God, the communion of believers” (the invisible Church), which is the “community of those who profess the true religion together with their children” (the visible Church)." ~Louis Berkhof: Manual of Christian Doctrine.
Now that I've established the definition, functions, and validity of the Church, I'll move on to some very real questions and concerns for the Church Homeless. These are concerns I've had, personally, and the concerns of Christians in my circle.
Concerns & Questions of the Church Homeless:Is church Necessary?
Hopefully, the affirmative has been established above, however, I don't want to undermine any valid concerns, and there are many. Remember my empathy and concern communicated earlier. While empathizing with your pain, anxiety, and uncertainty, I also know that wandering sheep are prone to every type of wolf, but Christ the Good Shepherd established folds and undershepherds to tend His lambs.
*What if I've been abused?
The grief and anxiety caused by a bad church is a valid concern, and if you find yourself without a church for this reason, allow yourself to process and grieve what you've been through. You have a tender, compassionate Shepherd Who sees and knows what you've endured. He can direct you to safety, but it is understood that all forms of abuse include a pervasive pattern of manipulation and control, which can produce enduring traumatic effects. For further clarification of spiritual abuse listen to this episode of Theology Gals I cohosted with Coleen Sharp and Jeff Crippen: "Abuse and the Church": http://theologygals.com/2017/06/abuse-and-the-church-theology-gals-episode-20/
Abuse is a valid concern and is alarmingly prevalent in the visible church. Please remember that a church that abuses fails to be a true church. A pastor and leadership of the church are fallible and imperfect, but abuse goes beyond any ordinary shortcoming. It is a failure of the Biblical requirements for church officers. Refer back to Titus 1:5-9: blameless, not arrogant, not hot-tempered ...not a bully, ...hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, righteous, holy, self-controlled..." None of these qualities are consistent with abuse. Those who do not operate and live accordingly should come under the discipline of the church, themselves, having disqualified themselves regardless of their current ordination status. If the church fails to press charges against an abuser, flee from such. Mark and avoid. And take your time when considering a new congregation. I will discuss moving forward later in the blog.
*What if you're married to someone who differs on doctrine?
Must you attend the same church? Opinions on this will vary. My personal belief is that when you differ from a church on doctrine, that church is not a good fit for you. Confessing churches ask you to take membership vows to affirm and uphold the essentials of the faith. If you're unable to agree with the church's Confession, you are in a position where you must remain silent on those issues, or seek a body that is in agreement with your beliefs. If husbands and wives differ on the Confession, they can work through those issues, seek unity, and hopefully come to a resolution that is peaceable. But where church membership is concerned, your conscience is not to be bound by your spouse. Go where you are being nurtured and fed on Christ. If you're moving on, let the new church you're considering for membership know your situation. Seek their guidance.
*But the church is full of hypocrites.
Again, a fair point, but who else did Jesus come to save, but sinners? We all fail. And the local church the very place that building up and correction are to take place. Remember Matthew 18. Seek unity. Confront in love. Work toward reconciliation and restoration when possible. Don't forget that you, also, are a sinner in need of God's grace in Christ. Go where you can receive and rest. Feed on Christ, and you will soon find yourself loving those hypocrites.
*How can I trust a church again?
I honestly don't know the answer to that, but what I do know is that Christ is faithful and trustable. He has established His church and provided it to His lambs for their nurture and protection. So, go, not with blinders on, but looking for glaring, red flags waving in your direction. Know that it is reasonable to heed them, to push back, to question, and to leave a church that is unsafe for you and your family. Here are a few ideas that may help along the way:
What to do/ask when searching:
Do:
1. Watch, observe, and ask questions.
2. Take your time. Don't rush to join. Joining a church is a commitment. Be sure you can take this important step with joy and confidence, and without compulsion.
3. Ask probing questions. If they're dismissed or greeted with disdain or concern, be concerned yourself.
4. Relocate: If you've exhausted all your options and cannot join any church within a reasonable distance from your home, relocate. Churchlessness is not an option for Christ's sheep for all the reasons noted above. You need protection, nurture, and support that is only afforded by the local church as they feed you on Christ through Word and Sacrament.
Questions to ask:
Here are some questions I have formulated to determine if a church is a good fit:
1. What is the church's Confession. If they don't have one, that is a red flag. You won't know what the church actually believes and is committed to practicing without a written Confession like the Thirty-nine Articles, The Belgic Confession, Westminster Confession, or The London Baptist Confession.
2. What is the position of the leadership on the role of women in the church?
3. What are some cases of church discipline that have been addressed by the church and what was the outcome?
4. What are the favorite historic and contemporary theologians of the pastor? This can serve as a relief or a warning. Investigate what wells they're drinking from.
5. Does the church have any written policy concerning child/sexual abuse and domestic violence?
6. And of foremost importance, ask the pastor to define Law and Gospel. If he confuses Law and Gospel, move on and keep looking.
During any season of Church Homelessness, please do not give in to Church Hopelessness. The Lord has established His church and "the gates of Hell will not prevail against it." Keep your eye fixed on the Good Shepherd, Who created the Church, lives among His church, and will return for Her. Until then He may He continue to gently lead us beside the still waters and restore our souls in His house, where we dwell forever.
Be sure to listen to the Gospel Gal episode on Youtube on this topic.
Additional Resources:
"Why Do We Go to Church?" Dr. John Fonville, Rector of Paramount Church: https://www.paramountchurch.com/sermons/sermon/2020-02-09/why-do-we-go-to-church.
"The Gospel For Those Broken By The Church": Rod Rosenbladt: https://gospelgalblog.blogspot.com/2018/05/the-gospel-for-those-broken-by-church.html
"Church Discipline vs. Spiritual Abuse": Church Chats: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3BPu7E3za0&t=48s
"Abuse and the Church": Theology Gals: http://theologygals.com/2017/06/abuse-and-the-church-theology-gals-episode-20/
"Spiritual Abuse": Gospel Gal: https://gospelgalblog.blogspot.com/2018/09/spiritual-abuse.html
"Safe Chruch: True Church": Gospel Gal: https://gospelgalblog.blogspot.com/2020/03/safe-church-true-church.html
"Hebrews 10:25 Not Forsaking the Assembling": Gospel Galhttps://gospelgalblog.blogspot.com/2017/07/last-night-as-i-was-anticipating-lords.html
Baptism: Gospel Gal: https://gospelgalblog.blogspot.com/2018/06/a-curriculum-for-covenant.html
"The Church: The Christ-Confessing Covenant Community": R. Scott Clark: https://heidelblog.net/2018/06/the-church-the-christ-confessing-covenant-community/
Marissa, "Gospel Gal" is a blogger and host of the new podcast, Church Chats with Gospel Gal (find on Youtube). She is wife of Mark, mother of three adult girls, counselor, educator, and mama bear to many. She lives in NW Georgia and attends an ACNA church in the area.
Wonderful post. I look forward to listening to the podcast also.
ReplyDeleteFabulous encouragement and challenge. Thank you.
ReplyDelete