The Deliverer, Not the Pit

Yesterday, I read a quote that struck me because there was a time I would have nodded in agreement, but have come to understand differently. It said something to the effect that it is not by books, study or sermons that we grow in sanctification, but by hardship. I have some experience with hardship... I was in that miry pit that the Psalmist describes... a pit created by me. I recognize that God used it for my good, however, it was not the pit itself that sanctified me. Many people suffer great harm and it does nothing to save or sanctify them, but further pushes them into despair, anger, and bitterness. I've witnessed this, too. It is not the hardship that sanctifies, rather the Lord who sanctifies. It was the Lord who came and ministered to me in the pit and then delivered me from it, that sanctified me. It was there that I learned about myself, my fallenness, my misery and my desperate need of my Savior. Learning of Him and His grace alone, to rescue was what was working my sanctification. He taught me of Himself through the Word and through His people most of all. Lots of study, reading, sermon-listening and receiving from Him. It is His faithfulness to complete what He began in us, that sanctifies us, and He does that through the Good News of Jesus... the life-giving work of the Gospel. "He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings." ~Psalm 40:2

Additional Resource: 

The Gospel Mystery of Sanctification: Growing in Holiness by Living in Union with Christ by Walter Marshall (Author), Bruce H. McRae (Translator) https://www.amazon.com/Gospel-Mystery-Sanctification-Growing-Holiness-ebook/dp/B07BKNYPSJ

Thoughts&Resources on Forgiveness&Reconciliation

Thoughts&Resources on Forgiveness&Reconciliation

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. ~Mark 11

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.~Ephesians 4

Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.~Luke 17

Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.~Matthew 18

Forgiveness... Often we refuse to forgive others because we mistakenly think that to do so is to minimize their sin. “And that’s not fair! He really hurt me. If I forgive, who’s going to care for me and take up my cause and nurse my wounds?” God is. We must never buy into the lie that to forgive means that sin is being whitewashed or ignored or that the perpetrator is not being held accountable for his/her actions. It simply means we consciously choose to let God be the one who determines the appropriate course of action in dealing justly with the offending person… To long for justice is entirely legitimate, but to seek it for yourself is not. Let God deal with the offender in his own way at the appropriate time. He’s much better at it than your or I. Forgiveness] is [often] deciding to live with the painful consequences of another person’s sin. You are going to have to live with it anyway, so you might as well do it without the bitterness and rancor and hatred that threaten to destroy your soul. True forgiveness pursues relationship and restoration. True forgiveness is not satisfied with simply canceling the debt. It longs to love again. ~Sam Storms

Differing from forgiveness, reconciliation is often a process that is conditioned on the attitude and actions of the offender. While its aim is restoration of a broken relationship, those who commit significant and repeated offenses must be willing to recognize that reconciliation is a process. If they’re genuinely repentant, they will recognize this. 

In many cases, even if an offender confessed his wrong to the one he hurt, and appealed for forgiveness, the offended person could justifiably say, “I forgive you, but it might take some time for me to regain trust and restore our relationship.” The evidence of genuine forgiveness is personal freedom from a vindictive or vengeful response (see: Romans 12:17-21), but not always an automatic restoration of relationship. 

http://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/2007/07/28/forgiveness-is-one-thing-reconciliation-is-another/

It is hard to genuinely restore a broken relationship when the offender is unclear about his confession and repentance. You must be as certain as you can of your offender’s repentance—especially in cases involving repeated offenses. Even God will not grant forgiveness to one who is insincere about his confession and repentance. The person who is unwilling to forsake his sin will not find forgiveness with God (Proverbs 28:13).

Of course, only God can read hearts –– we must evaluate actions. Jesus said, “By their fruit you will recognize them” (Matthew 7:16a). We must not allow superficial appearances of repentance to control our responses. Displays of tears or appearing to be sorry must not become substitutes for clear changes in attitude and behavior.

Seven signs of genuine repentance:

The offender:

1. Accepts full responsibility for his or her actions. (Instead of: “Since you think I’ve done something wrong…” or “If have done anything to offend you…”).

2. Welcomes accountability from others.

3. Does not continue in the hurtful behavior or anything associated with it.

4. Does not have a defensive attitude about his or her being in the wrong.

5. Does not have a light attitude toward his or her hurtful behavior.

6. Does not resent doubts about his or her sincerity – nor the need to demonstrate sincerity — especially in cases involving repeated offenses.

7. Makes restitution where necessary.

“If we can restore to full and intimate fellowship with ourselves a sinning and unrepentant brother, we reveal not the depth of our love, but its shallowness, for we are doing what is not for his highest good. Forgiveness which by-passes the need for repentance issues not from love but from sentimentality (John R. W. Stott, Confess Your Sins, p.35).

http://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/2007/07/28/forgiveness-is-one-thing-reconciliation-is-another/

(Amos 3:3 --God and man cannot walk together, except they are agreed. Unless we seek his glory, we 

cannot walk with him.-~Matthew Henry)

Additional Resources:
1. Do We have to Forgive Someone If They Don't Repent?: Timothy Massaro:Core Christianity

https://corechristianity.com/resource-library/articles/do-we-have-to-forgive-someone-if-they-dont-repent

2. How to Move from Forgiveness to Reconciliation: The Gospel Coalition

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/03/29/how-to-move-from-forgiveness-to-reconciliation/

3. What Came First: Repentance or Forgiveness?: Mortification of Spin 

http://www.alliancenet.org/mos/podcast/42915
4. Pray This Way: John Fonville: Paramount Church https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZnPBP5z_SE

5. Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Theocast
http://theocast.org/forgiveness-reconciliation/
6. Pursuing and Granting Forgiveness: Tim Lane
http://www.gigr.org/uploads/Forgive.pdf
7. Reconcile before worship?: Pastor Sam Powell
https://myonlycomfort.com/2020/01/10/reconcile-before-worship/

Dear New Believer: Pastor Chuck Collins

I thought this was very encouraging for believers, new and struggling, from my friend, Pastor Chuck Collins. Praying this is edifying and comforting to you also...


"Dear new believer,

Welcome to his family! There is rejoicing in heaven over what has happened in your heart and life!! I rejoice with the angels, archangels and all the company of heaven! It is exciting to share God’s love with you.

When I first heard and believed, so long ago, I was told that new believers must do certain things to get settled in the Christian life. “You should read your Bible and pray every day,” I was told, “find a Bible-believing church and join it, and share your testimony with others.” It made sense: if I was to grow, I needed to apply myself to being Christian and doing Christian things. Later I was informed that the list of things Christians should do is longer, including being nicer, and trying harder and doing more for God - like tithing, helping the poor, and teaching Sunday school! Especially tithing.

While all this was well-intentioned church advice, it took me many years to learn that God doesn’t want me doing anything before he wants me. You see, the gospel that changed your heart and mine is not dependent on our faithfulness, but on God’s faithfulness. I wish that someone had taken me aside back then to explain who I am in Christ and the cosmic wonder of being “in Christ.” The church put on me a heavy weight of duty before they explained to me my new identity. In Christ the most important thing settled is our identity, who we are, and how the Christian life then becomes a matter of living into who we are in Christ. It’s not about entering onto the treadmill of pietism and moral improvement, but heart-felt gratitude for our new identity as God’s adopted children. We don’t have to become the kind of person God will accept because we are already accepted! “Being” leads to “living,” of course, but there’s no living apart from being that doesn’t soon become a drudgery. John Steinbeck (East of Eden) was right, “And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”

Coming to see Christianity from your identity in Christ, rather than your performance for him, is what I missed for many of my early Christian years. So, this is my advice to you as a new believer: don’t get being and doing backwards. Don’t do a thing until you have time to contemplate and appreciate what was done for you in Christ. Go on a long retreat, take long walks, to “behold what manner of love the Father have given unto us that we should be called the children of God” ( 1 Jn 3). That “there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8). That nothing in all of creation can separate us from the love of God (Rom 8) because “we have been blessed in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places” (Eph 1).

And once the “it is finished” message is the song that runs in the background of your life, then the disciplines of the Christian life will be a joy. It’s not moral progress that makes you a Christian, but God’s love. Start then by resting in God’s approval of you. This is your new identity. You are his beloved and he delights over you with gladness!

In Christ,

Chuck"

Chuck is Interim Rector at Christ Church Anglican (ACNA) in Pheonix, AZ. https://christchurchphoenix.org/about/leadership/

Spiritual Abuse

Spiritual Abuse

Several years ago, my husband and I were meeting with a seminary student in hopes of starting a church plant in our area. The relationship was cordial and edifying at first, but soon attention turned to me and I became the target of his manipulation. When I began having difficulties with his theology, he would become aggressive and more dogmatic. When the tone switched from polite conversation to lecture, I would direct the student to my husband for further clarification. This was not well received. He would demand conversations with me. If I participated, he would charge me with a "Jezabel Spirit" for attempting to teach a man. If I would decline conversation, I would be charged with cowardice, and all cowards would inherit the lake of fire.

This is one form of spiritual abuse: Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. I think it's

important to recognize that spiritual abuse is a clear and present danger among those who desire to lead Christ's sheep. There are those who lord it over the flock, which is directly condemned in Scripture. And there are those who fail by tearing the sheep apart through the use of anti-gospel messages. These are wolves and not shepherds. Undershepherds nurture and protect Christ's sheep. They don't devour them.

I appreciate Jack Wellman's definition of spiritual abuse in his article: "5 Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse"

"Spiritual abuse could be defined as someone in a position of authority or leadership in the church taking advantage of such a position by misusing such a position that God has placed them in to try and manipulate, undermine, control, abuse, or coerce them into something unbiblical and ungodly."

My experience with spiritual abuse ended well. It was during that time of trial that the Lord drew me even closer to Himself, and taught me in a deeper way, not to put my trust in man, but in the Lord. Good and faithful undershepherds are truly a blessing, but the Lord is my Shepherd, my Faithful Friend, my Great High Priest, and Tireless Advocate. In Him, there is no condemnation.  

Source: 5 Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse: https://www.theaquilareport.com/5-warning-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/

See also:
"Pastors Are Not Cowboys" at http://www.agradio.org/pastors-are-not-cowboys.html .

"Spiritual Abuse and Toxic Systems" at  http://www.dianelangberg.com/2018/03/spiritual-abuse-and-toxic-systems/

A Collection of Sermons on our Standing and Hope in Christ

A Collection of Sermons on our Standing and Hope in Christ
courtesy of John Fonville and Paramount Church

1. (series) Become Who You Are ttp://subspla.sh/8pks4gd

2. Worthy Of His Calling - Part 1 http://subspla.sh/fhz5yn6

3. Beautified by Grace http://subspla.sh/bjhakwy

4. The Normal Christian Life: http://www.paramountchurch.com/mediaPlayer/#sermonaudio/378

5. Let A Man Examine Himself: http://www.paramountchurch.com/sermons/sermon/2017-06-04/let-a-person-examine-himself