"Someone recently asked me if I take allegations of abuse seriously when they are made toward certain people, churches or institutions. The short answer is, yes. I take all allegations of abuse seriously. The longer answer is, I always take a person seriously when they allege abuse, because I have learned in my field that it is best and safest to trust the person claiming abuse, and investigate (as appropriate) the situation after a safety plan has been made with the victim. Worst case for you is that you have wasted your time, and the victim is has manipulated you. We have been there. Worst case scenario for the victim is not being believed and dying at the hands of a perpetrator because no one helped them. This is an ongoing public service announcement for those in my contacts, and my story isn't changing. Act first on behalf of the person alleging abuse. Investigate later. The person alleging abuse should be assumed innocent until proven guilty. Churches and other Christian institutions are not immune to being sinful or enabling sinful activity. Read Corinthians and the other epistles. In fact, read the Bible. It is filled with examples of abusive situations and God's remedies."
Let me break this down: 
"I take all allegations of abuse seriously." When we say, take all allegations seriously, or when we say "Believe the victim". We mean that it is to the benefit of the alleged victim to hear them out, to validate hurt, to be a safe listener, to help the alleged victim to create and follow through with a safety plan if he reports being in imminent danger.
"I take all allegations of abuse seriously." When we say, take all allegations seriously, or when we say "Believe the victim". We mean that it is to the benefit of the alleged victim to hear them out, to validate hurt, to be a safe listener, to help the alleged victim to create and follow through with a safety plan if he reports being in imminent danger.
" ...investigate (as appropriate) the situation after a safety plan has been made with the victim."
~It is not the role of the church to investigate abuse situations where there is an alleged crime. If there has been an allegation of sexual or physical abuse, the police should be notified immediately.
~If there is an allegation of emotional or spiritual abuse, the role of the church *can be to investigate one of its own members. Involve the leadership of the church.
~What should *not happen in cases in which abuse is alleged is to assume guilt where there is an allegation but to let those appropriate/qualified to investigate do their work. Assuming the best of the alleged victim and assuming the best of the alleged abuser are not mutually exclusive. And engaging in slanderous behavior in public or in private is not an appropriate response to the alleged abuse. Unfortunately, our cultural norm is to go beyond this and to become judge and jury where there has been no valid investigation or due process completed. Each party is innocent until proven guilty, not guilty until proven innocent. Validating the alleged victim does not mean the alleged abuser is necessarily guilty. It simply means helping the alleged victim to identify safe people and safe places, and assisting to secure those when possible.
"Worst case for you is that you have wasted your time, and the victim is has manipulated you. We have been there."
It is always risky to enter into another person's grief, especially when the situation or individuals involved are volatile. But loving our neighbors sometimes involves the potential of getting hurt. Keep your guard up. Look for warning signs. Keep your boundaries.
"...read the Bible. It is filled with examples of abusive situations and God's remedies."
Involve the appropriate parties always. It is not up to individuals or the court of social media to resolve these very difficult situations. Pray, pray, pray some more. The Lord never puts someone in your life without a purpose, but knowing your role and limitations in these situations is so vitally important for you and those potentially being harmed or accused.
Above all, remember the Gospel. The alleged victim and the accused need the Gospel. Prioritize safety first, but never forget that for the lasting hurts and harm, there is a Savior Who is willing to forgive even the vilest offender who looks to Him, confesses his sin, and repents by His grace. Point to the One Who's mission was to save His people from their sins and after to be the Avenger of the oppressed.
Thank you
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